This Is What It Feels Like

For me, when I have a depressive episode, everything is a challenge.

I woke up feeling groggy and I knew what was going on. I just wanted to lay down. Maybe not even sleep, just lay down. My entire body feels heavy and a bit tingly. It’s that feeling after your leg falls asleep when it hurts to lift your leg and it feels a little numb, still. And it’s all over my body. My brain isn’t functioning well, so I’m forgetting things in my everyday routine. While I drove to work, I spaced out for a bit. This tends to happen and, even when I become aware of it, I can’t focus my eyes to come back. My back hurts more today, than usual. Mostly between my shoulder blades, but also around my lower back. Most of the day, I have been a little light headed and short of breath, as well.

Emotionally, I know I should be happy and life is great.  But, I just feel like crying. I feel hopeless, even though I know how amazing my life is. Even doing things I enjoy feel like a task.

This used to be my life. Daily. Now it is a little better and it might happen once a week or so. But, u know that is temporary, so I enjoy it while I can.  🙂  The next streak is around the corner. So, I’m just walking to that corner a little slower and enjoying the scenery.  😉

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